seethingblue's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- blank page less than perfect that's me. i don't know what i'm doing...sometimes i feel like knocking my head against the wall...i know i need to be writing a paper, reading novels, running a vacuum(sp? ech...(what does that mean?!??) there are things that speak to me i'm a drone...i watch tv religiously, i wonder why my study skills are so poor, oh i know, there are disorders galore...maybe that's why we aren't getting well as a group...i can't cope with the psychoanalysis of your favorite belle and sebastian songs...i can't even cope with the psychoanalysis of my little toe in relation to the stretch of my foot if i have to pull myself apart again, i don't think i will make it...if i have to tell myself i fit in...i know that i never will...because i don't fit in, that is... not it one group, that is if i told you all of my loves would you be mainstream? because they aren't always catpower songs sometimes they are songs from "She's So Unusual"...sometimes i relate to that more...and then i don't fit in but then i would be branching off of the intellectually acceptable but who cares what people think who cares in the least my mind is circles like a sky like an Escher painting and sometimes i don't think about it all...i just follow my own brush strokes my abilities in comparison to the contestants on jeopardy are all in my head (these are the things i write in my journal...they are chipped plates that can never be glued back into complete thoughts) so if no one is reading that is nothing new i'm the opposite of an insomniac i can't stay awake long enough to feed my ego...and i have one bruised and torn...somewhere in this bottomless pit or maybe its glowing like emeralds (sigh...back to work...) 2:35 p.m. - 2001-11-10 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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