seethingblue's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- what i learned from geneen roth and mitsuko thisiswhatidosometimes. sometimes when i'm lonely. i eat a piece of bread, chewing slowly, savoring each bit, running my tongue over the texture which turns softer in the darkness of my mouth. until it becomes malleable. sticky. and until i can resist no more: i swallow. and then i take another slice out of the bag. put it in my mouth but chew fast. never stopping once to feel the sweetness and comfortable smoothness of what i am consuming. and i keep doing this until the pain is gone. i am trying to fill in the holes inside me. compensate something i need with food. because i cannot be lonely after eating. i can only be disgusted by what i am doing to my body. and this is the only way i can distract myself from the real problems that are eating me away. rightthisinstant. this very moment. 11:44 - 27 August, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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