seethingblue's Diaryland Diary

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people from stardust

my eyes are brand-new and tired, eyelashes keep scratching the surface, they don't protect me well, another Thursday. . .it is almost noon and i have my Anthropology class at 12:25, or so. I'm going to meet with my advisor tomorrow morning. I need help planning my life; I want her to blurt out the answers to all my questions before I even ask them; I want her to explain what I'm doing wrong in my life; If I have become the false protagonist of my own useless life or really just a static character sitting to the side consuming a sack lunch.

they are having another memorial in Washington D.C. to celebrate the one month anniversary of ______, even tragedies have anniversaries, even sorrow has a reason to celebrate. . .that we have changed our lives for the better, examined what we did wrong in order to make up for lost time. . .i see the refugees from Aghanistan and the fire in Kabul. . .the sky feels heavy today, like rain that is awaited but not wanted, like a secret you just didn't need to know

maybe we are waiting for our own walls to be constructed. . .when i finally begin to drive, i know that i will miss being the passenger, being the girl in the front seat who can gaze out of the window and pretend someone is running after me for one last good-bye. . .

11:56 a.m. - 2001-10-11

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