seethingblue's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the bad luck that trails after me like a lost puppy the maranatha baptist church just rang my doorbell and i felt stupid standing there in the cold doorway as a fifteen year old girl with smudged eyeliner asked me if i thought i was going to go to heaven of course i said no. my courses this semester have been one mistake after another: first there was europe in the 19th century where i fell asleep during the explanation of the syllabus, then there was german conversations and compositions where i had the sudden revelation that i was on another planet and dropped it immediately while in hysterics...i'm irrational. then article and essay workshop where we read david sedaris (which is a good thing, don't get me wrong) but then have to read our own essays based on humor...and i am scared shitless...if there's one thing i can't write its deliberate humor....i'm going to feel that knot deep down inside again, that jumble of emotions i thought i had shaken off after tenth grade drama class and oral reports in INR...and that's not half as bad as reading something born of your own thoughts and calculations...somehow this makes me want to have a good cry: you know, the one where you hyperventilate until your blue in the face and then roll over and sleep until dawn... bad week, very bad week... 6:57 p.m. - 2002-01-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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