seethingblue's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- practicing the word hello a glass of water left to sip because the day is long and lonely... she dreams of deserts...once...that i lived there once with the cactus flowers, now i ended up in the panhandle of somewhere...this somewhere without rain sometimes and without stopping sometimes and sometimes i am caught in the traffic of overpopulation...and sometimes i can see the way i linger behind the door...that i cannot say what is lingering behind my open mouth...an open wound of everything i've said that's fallen flat on its face the day is long and lonely without you sometimes. i have conned myself into thinking of my geography instructor at odd times of the day...the way he moves his hands over the map of the United States and wants to go on an Alaskan Cruise and has a slight lisp and an unsureness that carries over into what i'm guessing his sexuality might be...but he wears a Simpson's t-shirt and pulls his backpack straps tight against his back and he says Gesundheit after every sneeze, even if it carries him off of the conversational path he had in mind...but then i see me...unsure in the back of the room speaking of things in my head and doodling in the margins: graduating from simple hearts and stars to winter branches and the faces of ordinary girls... this is nothing to me i'm counting the ways i can avoid eye contact...i'm not wondering where his ring could be...i'm not even going to think anymore...just go around...fueled by daydreams safety in the numbers i place within my head 2 days before the weekend 60 degrees away from snowfall 5:01 p.m. - 2002-01-16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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