seethingblue's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the construction of opera houses on monticello street i'd love a lime popsicle right now. now when the day is too heavy on my shoulders. an outline, skeleton...sketch? the morning: gray and lifeless. an expanse of sky like the shape of an island on the surface of the water and the car with its familiar hum...everything stays so neatly between the lines. i would lose control and jerk the wheel around, never steady my hands enough to focus on the road ahead. this is where i am- the point i'm at. then the day became....i cannot shake the use of the word heavy...that is the only thing to describe it...the air became so dense like fog but transparent. i wasn't breathing as hard. my legs. right. left. my feet with toes asleep. the muddy rain water seeped into the tops of my shoes...an eerie shade of gray bleeding all around. immensely depressing. i came home and put some frozen french fries in the microwave. i thought about joining a chorus line for a few moments or so. just running off to the nearest large city...jacksonville or atlanta...auditioning for the part of the loveable goof in some newly birthed play...buy blankets at goodwill to huddle under in bed. not law. not science. not the medical field or botany or gourmet pastry schools. i have no future and at the same time that is all i have...future...days and days...and somehow life just doesn't seem long enough to rope all the days in. sigh. 2:44 p.m. - 2002-01-24 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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