seethingblue's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- personal circles and invaded space there was a cracked glass in the sink which broke into my hands, a perfect crescent shaped cut on one of my fingers and a lot of blood but it doesn't hurt much. . .i just stood there staring at it in shock...as if everything had been slowed down...things were in mid-movement.... i want to do something different but there are only the superficial things: cutting my hair...plucking my eyebrows until there is nothing left but splotches of red and pain...temporary tattoos (oh lordy)...i'm fresh out of ideas... i'm worried about my plastic teacup smile story...its from the perspective of a girl i've never been...in a way...i've been insecure like her, angela, i've been confused about my biracial identity like her, but i've never gone through lava and ash and sexual frustration (well, self-denial is glorious)...i'm afraid i won't be able to create her completely for the three other people in my fiction group: the activist, the soccer fanatic with the white guy afro, and the girl who speaks english as if it is a foriegn language and wears tight shirts that show off her chest...and i'm just humpty-dumpty...with a sour taste in my mouth...wanting a stick of gum and an aspirin "and i don't drink coffee ever which can make things worse or better" send me a guitar, so i can learn to play, okay? i'll write you ten thousand songs dripping with sappiness with lyrics scrawled on napkins with lipstick stains, ok? and i will never neglect the words 'i love you' in my songs, ok? because i'm not afraid of writing love songs...i'm not afraid of singing the truth even if sometimes i can't say it out loud in plain talk 6:17 pm - february 2, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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