seethingblue's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sweet depression last night i painted an old cigar box and filled it with magazine cut-outs of asian models and blues and reds and purples, i don't know what i'm going to do with these, i was afraid i would regret not saving everything- maybe because i am afraid to throw anything away my father is depressed sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands, a white envelope on the counter torn open with his name in black letters- Ricky my mother shuffles around in her pink slippers, no bra, no make-up, and sometimes without her make-up i can't see her eyes anymore and i want to walk up to her and feel her face as if i am blind, to feel that she can see me, that we all won't go blind like i am, if i was sometimes i tell myself, whisper, you've just got to get out- save yourself, just get out of here, before everything turns stale again, before you separate yourself from the way they roam around with no color, blue and red and purple again but i can't move 12:03 p.m. - 2002-05-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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