seethingblue's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this is how i feel. inside the house. a box of oranges against a painted wall. the wall is yellow in some places because the light has traveled diagonally across the room. and there are patterns reflected off of the crystal glasses that sit on the counter. inside the house. inside my ears i play jellyfish blues. empty gap bags are strewn across the room down the hall, so i don't go in there. i keep the lights off, even the ones that are flourescent orange from the aquarium. i lock the doors twice. lock. open. lock. open. i open the door and peer outside. cobwebs hanging down in tendrils from the dark bricks that line the house. outside, the street lamps buzz dimly, only illuminating a small piece of pavement. this is how i feel. not sad. or happy. but silently existing. following my routine. following the habits i have grown accustomed to. like locking the door behind me and opening it again to leave. 21:01 - 30 May, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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