seethingblue's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- wind or window long distance phonecalls clutter the answering machine and the message hasn't been changed since last august because i have forgotten how to talk to machines and i get so tongue-tied. i want to eat white bread and drink tart lemonade or something hot that burns my tongue while speaking and makes me lick my lips. and i want to know what to write when i am thinking of appologizing about leaving myself open for you to walk upon, to tread upon the parts of me that are drying up and dying. sometimes i dream of dying. or running away. or not exisiting. and i don't know which way is better. and i think that i am truly afraid of happiness because it causes me to anticipate the bad. i want to crawl into the tiny shadows of your feet behind my bedroom door. and tuck myself away like a keepsake to find later. 18:39 - 25 July, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||