seethingblue's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

exorcisms

if you slept in my sister's room, the one with the wall adjacent to my own, you would hear the knocking all night long,

the knocking of my hands on the headboard of my bed.

and i can't stop myself.

the only way i can take back bad thoughts.

and by morning i know that i am crazy.


my mother is telling me that she is leaving my father on saturday and that i must raise her fourteen year old daughter until she returns.

maybe until next summer.

and i am only nineteen myself.

twenty on saturday.

the day she leaves.

we all cried at the kitchen table. my mother thinks my father hates her. for making financial mistakes. for having an older sister. an older sister whom they sued. they owe more than a hundred thousand dollars in debt. i offered to quit school to help out. and i don't want to but i must.


i am so tired of crying.

this happens every year.

especially around my birthday. i'm beginning to think that i am cursed.

11:07 - 13 August, 2002

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry

other diaries:

edithelaine
glashaus
hapapowerr
newviolet
warmblankets
aware
jetlagdream
palebycmprsn
miss-megan
fuschia
crackedlips
ydandelions
femmeproject
s-g
sood
urine
orangina21
guitkoko
emotionalist
bendme
throwingjuly
anonperson
whatlight
lightfallsup
moonrattles
dgr
sythy
soillsich
defect
immolation
wednes-danny
hair-spray
pixie-never
a-i-p
sunkenships
pinkmusique
sokagitano
lilywithagun
starkitten01
incinerated
morestories
rhythmatic
igetit
katherinehand
puellarina
woken up
luminescent