seethingblue's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- trying to filter thoughts from pain I'm going to curl up on my bed and watch Valley Girl and feel all right with the world, for now. Sometimes I don't know how to be poetic-- and my diary isn't always this way. I don't think in these terms and I'm afraid that people think I'm better than I really am and that I'll slip up and everyone will know that I am really incapable of producing beauty, that I'm nothing more than words with no meaning. I feel very abstract as a person-- not pieced together right. When I go to my classes I just feel like a zombie walking among throngs of people who have stories to tell and places to go and I just wait for rides and clutch notebooks to my chest and worry about things. This worry is consuming me. I want life to be an 80s movie-- safe, enclosed within 2 hours, with no beginning, no ending, eternal. 19:48 - 08 February, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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