seethingblue's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- dear frustrated superstar my bones are aching and quivering as i take the wind in my mouth and i stand near the stove, disheveled in house slippers, the sun staggering across the kitchen floor in vertical strands of light. i tell myself i could press against the wall and leave an imprint but i turn the eggs instead. i want to write you a fictional letter that tells you my life story, i want to lick the stamps again and seal the words in and hold the envelope up to see the paper tucked and folded gently. i want to be somewhere in north carolina, legs dangling over a dock, i have these romantic ideas of what adulthood will be like when i finally get past twenty and head towards thirty and can carry my own groceries to the car and choose paper or plastic for myself i thumbtack used calendars to the kitchen wall and sometimes draw on the backs of torn seasons, never full faces and sometimes half-moons and i have never stolen a thing in my life and sometimes that's all i really want, that and to be taken care of for a little while and to take care of myself for a long while but sometimes i get paranoid when the door creaks open and there are too many shoes in my closet. and the kitchen has always been safe because the lights never go off, people shuffle in and out and there is no door to shut. 12:25 - 31 July, 2003 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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