seethingblue's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

father's day

I relate to trees better than people and I had to get a ride home one day from this guy who works where I do and he was so nice about it but I felt so pathetic and dependent on men or something. I hate riding around with people and feeling obligated somehow. He pointed out where he grew up which was in my neighborhood but I felt so awkward because he was just listening to rap and driving an SUV (which is a type of car I've taken a great disliking to) and had the kind of sunglasses that wrap around your face.

Now it's father's day. I gave my dad a dvd about the Clash. One day I caught him watching the movie Rude Boy (the one about the Clash, not the one about those Jamaican guys who sell drugs or something) and it was so odd because his old tapes consist of billy joel, hank williams jr, alan jackson, dolly parton, conway twitty, the nitty gritty dirt band, and most definitely not the Clash! Then he told me a few days later that he used to love them when he was in highschool and growing up in the 70s. Ok, my dad a punk? Sure. He comes from a family that still worships the Confederate flag. Well, I got him this DVD and he ended up loving it.

I guess we learn new and humanizing things about our parents all the time. Yeah, I saw that lesson coming a mile away. I'm such an after-school-special.

But the truth is, I still dislike my father greatly at times. And he IS one of the main reasons why I feel so uncomfortable riding home in an SUV of a fellow co-worker. I'm not equipped to feeling comfortable in the company of guys. I keep away from those situations or try to "ugly" myself or make myself more chummy so I won't feel this discomfort.

I am such a shoo-in for therapy.

18:20 - 20 June, 2004

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry

other diaries:

edithelaine
glashaus
hapapowerr
newviolet
warmblankets
aware
jetlagdream
palebycmprsn
miss-megan
fuschia
crackedlips
ydandelions
femmeproject
s-g
sood
urine
orangina21
guitkoko
emotionalist
bendme
throwingjuly
anonperson
whatlight
lightfallsup
moonrattles
dgr
sythy
soillsich
defect
immolation
wednes-danny
hair-spray
pixie-never
a-i-p
sunkenships
pinkmusique
sokagitano
lilywithagun
starkitten01
incinerated
morestories
rhythmatic
igetit
katherinehand
puellarina
woken up
luminescent