seethingblue's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ruby road Sometimes, all a girl can do is finger the run in her stockings and pretend it is a metaphor for life. Sometimes I try to figure out in my head what I would do if someone forgot to pick me up from class. I came up with an intricate plan for catching the local bus, riding it to the Winn-Dixie near my house and walking a mile uphill past Lake Jackson. I would be all sweaty and tired from my journey, my backpack would be pressing into my shoulder blades, and maybe even a pinkish-red sunburn would tinge my cheeks. I thought about this carefully; how I would walk into the living room all pathetic and smelly, kick off my shoes and catch the tail end of Oprah. Maybe I'd even attack a pack of cookies. Then I thought some more, logically and decided that the best thing to do would be to call Sara. My sister was watching the Discovery Health channel the other night and there was a special on overweight people fighting for their rights. I was proud of these women in their t-shirts emblazoned with "Real Women Have Hips!" and at the same time disgusted with the world for creating prejudice...maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about but I know how it feels and its hard to accept yourself when there's no one out there with kind eyes. Sometimes I feel like all I do is watch tv and then try to relate what I see to other people. I feel like an Alzheimer's patient sometimes, like the woman my mother used to care for. She would watch Television all day and then make my mom guess what she was about to create in the bathroom (i'll give you a hint, they both start with P's). . .she was the sweetest woman and there is a street named after her where a beauty parlor was built and now country women style their hair across from her legacy. . .sometimes the world is just revolting but as for me, i know its outdated, sometimes i just want to find the perfect guyfriend to link arms with and pretend things are platonic. . .most days i don't think about love at all, it doesn't interest me because i know it will only leave me crying with a box of puffs and an empty carton of ice cream. . .i'm a pessimist sometimes, i must confess. . .but i think about this guy and i just hope he has a kind face 7:17 p.m. - 2001-10-12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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