seethingblue's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- nightmares about not being able ever to drive away! the sea green i imagine my walls to be weekends again and though i am here, before this pulsing screen and stretched out on my side watching Waking the Dead twice because it made me cry enough to leave the confines of my self-pity, there is not much time to bake a cake with no raisins and drink glasses of strawberry milk, blowing bubbles through a straw. i am pressed between paper deadlines, hideous writing about Dixie politics and i care on other levels but not as michele, me in yesterday's dirty socks with uneven hair eating cheese doodles although i know how processed and toxic they are, maybe the other michele who nods to the checkout girl when she goes into the supermaket would care about all this political shit. i'm rarely that person so i really can't say. i lack the right comma placement to make my writing effective...ok, what-ever... i hate the weekends sometime more than the weeks...all of the mall families with the father in pressed jeans and the mother with thin-skinned calves and snaking veins...the children with their kool-aid smiles make me sick sometimes i just drugde past these people as i pretend i am interested in clogs at the Payless Window...then i come home and pretend i am in love, though i am rarely ever entranced by any human male alive and breathing and within reach, so you see, its all fantasy again...make-believe, pretend. 5:56 p.m. - 2002-01-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||