seethingblue's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- upon returning to yellowed plants and dusty comforters while i was away i realized how much i miss traveling and moving away and towards places for a brief moment and being away from home made me realize that home does exist even if i do not always belong or feel safe or feel happy and being away made me feel somewhat whole because i could picture myself back in my bedroom writing letters, or dusting the television set and like peering into someone else's life in a movie or a novel, i could identify with the person i observed in my head but now that i am here i feel dismembered again and so i a have come to the resolution that i must take many trips as many times as i can and not fear what's beyond the next stretch of highway. what i fear most is this hollow feeling inside. after the night has settled. after the excitement of change has disintegrated into nothingness. you must come back down to normal. and i dread the thick blanket of fear that envelopes me when there is nothing to look forward to. 22:18 - 20 July, 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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