seethingblue's Diaryland Diary

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not the type

Not sure if it's hormones, I feel like I'm in one of those immobile funks. I woke up from a heavy, disorienting nap and felt incredibly homesick for my sister. I dreamt she was visiting me and I accidentally let ten squids out in the apartment and we had to catch them all. When I awoke, I sliced skin off of my thumb trying to wash chocolate off of a steak knife. And at the theater with my friend, I felt incredibly lonely watching Shopgirl because I could relate to the nervous, anxious, awkward parts but not the beautiful ones. I don't photograph well. I hate the word photogenic.

I think I'm feeling this void because it is November and 85 degrees and I try to let sunlight in but the electric bill is too expensive. Sometimes I feel like I'm just going to let myself go under and feel okay with mistakes. But I can't. I miss the smell of leaves.

18:37 - 07 November, 2005

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