seethingblue's Diaryland Diary

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homemade doll

I am sewing a tiny doll,
stitching black buttons onto a knot of cotton for a face.
The pink doll clothes are ironed,
the stitches like tiny hyphens.

This is for a class. We are making toys.
I leave my coat on, my back sweating, while other people discuss things. I don't think I'm a good student. I don't have the energy to try anymore.

I'm incredibly sad.

I hate the idea that someone out there may dislike me or think I'm a terrible person. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I wanted things to be okay between us. But your email stung me. I felt like I was trying so hard to make little steps forward. I was trying to be honest and at the same time, somewhat optimistic. But I think you misunderstood. I don't want you to think I'm testing you or making you miserable. So I truthfully wish you happiness in all things. Maybe someday we can meet up for coffee and tea and exchange stories?

23:26 - 06 February, 2009

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